just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
