i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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