were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
