The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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