Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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