Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize