i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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