Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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