i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
