Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
