Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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