Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
