When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she told me i tasted like america
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
