Who wears a wallet chain?!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
