I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
