I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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