Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
