hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
