Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
