i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
