Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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