I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
