you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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