I'm jealous of your bromance
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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