Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
