good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
