i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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