Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
