okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
