When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
