it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
