Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
