he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jerry, you need to find god
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
