i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
