Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
