it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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