My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
