long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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