Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize