I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
