I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
