Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
