I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
