I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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