did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We got so high we made milksteak
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
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She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm too high and old for this...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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