her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
