Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
