ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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