I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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