The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
