i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
