I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize