Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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