im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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