READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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