Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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