THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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