Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
