I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The air was thick with penises
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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