I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
