The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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