Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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